An Owed Debt
by Shannypants
Summary: Snape's POV during some of the vents in the chapter "The PRince's Tale," and his meeting w/Dumbledore following Lily's death. An interesting take on why he did what he did. My first Severus/Lily fic, Please Read and Review:D


**An Owed Debt**

By: Shannypants

Author's Note/Disclaimer: First of all, I own nothing here, and I never will. I'm just a kid that loves to write and expand on other people's ideas, without any profit. Also, in the story, anything italicized is more or less a direct quote or my own flashback from one of J.K. Rowling's masterpieces. This was written to fit into the chapter "The Prince's Tale" from Deathly Hallows, and several excerpts from that chapter are used. This is my take on what went through Snape's mind…

XxxXxxX

He could hear the wind whipping against the rain-battered windows. He could hear it ripping away at the trees below, down by the quidditch pitch. And even as he sat in the large, cushioned chair across from the headmaster's desk, he could hear her pleading cries…"Not Harry!"…he-who-must-not-be-named's merciless laughter… and, most of all, he could see her eyes, as pure and green as they were, as clearly as if they were floating before him…

Severus Snape choked as he struggled to stifle the endless sobs that were threatening to break loose. While many would claim he was a cruel man, and yes, he may agree, there was one thing, one person he would do anything for…and he had promised. The dark lord had agreed to spare her. How could he, Severus Snape, being as skilled in the dart arts and legilimency as he was, allow this to happen? He crouched over, burying his face into his pale hands.

_…His voice__ trailed away; she__ was not listening, but had stret__ched out on the leafy ground and was looking up at the canopy of leaves overhead. He watched her as greedily as he had watched her in the playground. _

_"How are things going at your house?" Lily had asked. _

_A little crease appeared between his eyes._

_"Fine," he said._

_"They're not arguing anymore?"_

_"Oh, yes, they're arguing," said __Snape__. He picked up a fistful of leaves and began tearing them apart, apparently unaware of what he was doing. "But it won't be that long and I'll be gone."_

_"Doesn't your dad like magic?" _

_"He doesn't like anything, much," said __Snape_

_"Severus?"_

_A little smile twisted __Snape's mouth__ when she said his name._

_"Yeah…?"_

Even then, at that young age, Lily had been the most caring person alive, even to him, who most people were quick to avoid. Not only had she reached out to him, but she had given him someone to talk to about anything and everything. As Snape allowed himself to escape within these memories, he heard the deep rumble of the stone griffin that guarded the entrance to the headmaster's chamber. Seconds later, the elder man appeared in the doorway, looking grim. Though Snape knew full well Dumbledore was standing over him, he continued to sit slumped over in the chair, looking ghastly pale and his breathing shallow, coming in gasps like that of a wounded animal.

"Look at me," said Dumbledore sternly.

When he didn't react, or showed any sign that he had heard at all, the headmaster repeated himself, this time more harshly, raising his voice. At this, Snape winced quietly, and after a moment or two, he raised his face, and he looked like a man who had lived a hundred years of misery.

"I thought…you were going…to keep her…safe…" he choked quietly, scarcely loud enough to be heard, but as Dumbledore was a perceptive man, he knew exactly what his former student had said.

"She and James put their faith in the wrong person," said Dumbledore, taking a seat behind his desk and folding his long-fingered hands upon the polished surface. "Rather like you, Severus. Weren't you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?"

Snape's breathing became increasingly shallow, and the headmaster could tell he was listening intently.

"Her boy survives," said Dumbledore.

With a tiny jerk of the head, Snape seemed to flick off an irksome fly.

"Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and color of Lily Evan's eyes, I am sure?" When all else failed, Dumbledore knew this would be sure to trigger an emotional response within the man.

Just as he had expected, as if on cue, the barriers Snape had so carefully secured around his mind began to falter. "DON'T!" he bellowed. "Gone…dead…"

"Is this remorse, Severus?"

"I wish…I wish _I_ were dead…"

"And what use would that be to anyone?" said Dumbledore coldly, sickened at the man's self pity. "If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."

Snape seemed to peer through a thick haze of pain, and Dumbledore's words appeared to take a long time to reach him. Once again, his mind was traveling back…

_"I missed you, __Sev__," said Lily, running up and gathering him into her warm embrace. Though slightly taken aback at first, Severus soon found his tense muscles easing. _

_The students were just returning from holidays via the Hogwarts Express; Hogwarts was a busy and bustling place, full __of laughter and unpacking. __Snape__, however, had not left for vacation. Instead, he had remained at school for Christmas and spent most days alone, __up in the __Slytherin__ dormitories, and his thoughts of Lily were persistent. Was she alright? __With any luck, she wasn't out gallivanting with that wretched Potter boy. "She wouldn't," he thought to himself, yet__ he had trouble convincing himself fully. These thoughts had haunted his day and night for the past two weeks._

_Now, however, none of that mattered, for Lily was right where she belonged. It was almost as if she cou__ld sense his misery; she gently__ slipped his hand within her own and __led__ him into the Great Hall, where they sat down to a magnificent welcoming feast._

_After a while, Lily seemed to grow concerned, and a small crease furrowed her brow. "What's wrong, really?" she asked._

_Again, it took a moment before __Snape__ answered. "I…I…missed you, too," he struggled, his mouth testing words he could not recall uttering before._

_At this, Lily __grinned__ that glorious grin that lit up her eyes. "Well, it's good to be home."_

The scene changed…

_"I'm sorry."_

_"I'm not interested."_

_"I'm sorry!"_

_"Save your breath."_

_It was nighttime. Lily, who was wearing a dressing gown, stood with her arms folded in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at t__he entrance to Gryffindor Tower. _

_"I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep out here."_

_"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you __Mudblood__, it just-"_

_"Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you.__ You and your precious little Death Eater friends- you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"_

_He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking. She was right to some extent. Truly, he was not capable of honestly denying everything she had said._

_"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way. I've chosen mine."_

_"No- listen, I didn't mean-"_

_"-to call me __Mudblood__ But you call everyone of my birth __Mudblood__, Severus. Why should I be any different?"_

_He struggled on the verge of speech, and gave her a broken glance, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole…_

Snape sat in the chair parallel the headmaster for many long minutes, sinking silently into his reveries. How could he have been so cruel- to treat her so poorly? She had been his savior, the angel that had brought light back into his world…at long last, he raised his head and spoke.

"What- what do you mean?"

"You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son."

Snape blinked. "He does not need protection. The Dark Lord has gone-"

"The Dark Lord will return, and Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does."

There was a long pause, and slowly Snape regained control of himself, mastered his own breathing. From a certain point of view, didn't he owe it to Lily? To her memory? At last he said, "Very well. Very well. But never- never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it! I cannot bear…especially Potter's son…I want your word!"

"My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?" Dumbledore sighed, looking down into Snape's ferocious, anguished face, and beginning to feel his own grief resurface as well. Despite this, he could not help thinking that his former student was not quite as hard as he presented himself. Ah, but love will do that to people. "If you insist."

Snape nodded approvingly, surprised at his own behavior. Since when was he offering protection to the so-called enemy? He sighed, and got up to leave. What extent would he go to for her? He squeezed his eyes shut, sniffling quietly as a pearly tear graced his cheek. He would repay his debt to his angel.

Just as he began to close the door behind him, he heard a soft, significantly kinder voice come from within the office. "Thank you, Severus," said Dumbledore, and Snape could have sworn that as he looked down through the windows overlooking the grounds, he saw a doe streak across the fields.


End file.
